Satirical Arrancar
by shadowchild613
Summary: Aizen is still creating new arrancar, but what the heck is up with the newest one? When he decides to assign her to Grimmjow, things get interesting. Will the Sexta really be ok? Oh, this is bound to be good... Rating for Violence & Language. Grimm vs OC
1. Newbie

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own Bleach. Just the twisted mind which produced this little monstrosity...**

**Chapter 1) Newbie**

Here he was. Again. All of the Espada were supposed to be present at the births of their kind so that they would be familiar with their comrades. Bull.

The Sexta shifted his weight to his other foot, glancing, in boredom, around the room. Those present of the Espada stood apart from each of the others. Heh. He wasn't the only antisocial one here.

The incandescent box in the middle off the room dissolved, showing yet another newborn arrancar lying still on the floor. Its' lithe body crouched on the cold stone, arms wrapped around knees pulled up to the chin. Long silky black hair hung down in thick strands, but among those ebony locks seemed to be riotous slashes of fiery red. Judging by what he could see of the prone figure, Jaegerjaquez guessed that the new addition was female.

Actually, Grimmjow thought that she looked like she was getting ready to pounce. He tried not to peer too closely at the uncovered form in front of him. The figure remained motionless on the floor, as if paralyzed by the intense reiatsu swirling throughout the cramped space. Dammit. Another weak one.

"What is your name?" Aizen addressed the newest arrancar with a bemused expression. Eyes snapped open to find the source of this inquiry, startling several Espada in the process. Those eyes were feral, deep golden like a wolf's eye, lined by a deep smoky grey. It was, in all, an eerie effect.

"My name?" Her voice was quiet, as if contemplating whether to answer the question.

"Norayan Heiydorn." The others quickly introduced themselves in order of rank. Her gaze roved across the faces of the Espada, finally landing on Grimmjow.

Uh-oh. She had a mischievous glint in her eye, and he knew he wasn't going to like what she was going to say even before the words left her lips.

"Kitty." Sarcasm dripped off of each syllable.

Dammit.


	2. Getting Started

**Disclaimer: I dun own nada. 'Specially teh Bleachies...**

**Chapter 2) Getting Started**

Grimmjow sighed. It wasn't enough for him to have to be present for that obnoxious ceremony yesterday, now Aizen wanted to see him…in private. What had he done this time? Rather, **which** action was he going to be called out for? Che, there were really too many for Aizen to be worried about **just one **of his little rebellions.

In the throne room, Aizen lounged on his marble pedestal, his attention currently focused on the back corner of the room. Glancing back, Grimmjow couldn't blame him for keeping a close eye on Gin as he lurked near the newborn arrancar. The former fifth division captain quickly diverted his concentration back to the sexta now sneaking back out of the throne room, praying he was unnoticed.

With no such luck.

"Grimmjow, how pleasant of you to join us."

Dammit.

"You wanted something, Lord Aizen?" Che, like he'd been given a choice…to defy Aizen is to die a horrible death. And Grimmjow just wasn't ready to keel over **just** yet.

"Yes, actually. I have tested our newest arrancar in order to more accurately determine her abilities, and have found her too lacking to be ranked as an Espada. But definitely good enough to be a fracción," Aizen smiled down at Grimmjow, who was seriously not liking the way this conversation was going. "Therefore, I have decided to place her under your supervision."

_Huh?_

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

From the back corner of the room, Gin smirked at the Sexta's expression. He'd never imagined that Grimmjow could look so exasperated. Or so confused. If Gin could hazard a guess at what was running through his mind at the moment, it probably would have been 'why me?'

Yes, Aizen could have placed Heiydorn-chan with any of the Espada. So why did he choose the most disrespectful, violent, and undependable of all? Simply put: why not keep all the trouble in one place.

"Ne, Nora-chan, why dun ya go meet yer new boss?" The silver haired man's smile grew even larger, stretching to epic proportions. He couldn't wait so what happened when the two finally met. Grimmy wouldn't know what hit him…

* * *

Dun dun _dun!_ Can anyone else say dramatic cliffhanger? Ahaha, I just couldn't resist... The fun begins next chapter! *rubs hands together and plots what to torture the poor arran-kitty with* _Muahahahaha! _* v *


	3. Chaos Ensues

**Chapter 3) Chaos Ensues**

**Disclaimer: For all those out there who seek to sue me - You won't get much more than an extremely battered computer and a pack of sugarless gum.**

_Author's note: Uber thanks to my amazing reviewers! A total of 4 people (two of you reviewed twice- thanx! *hands out giant choco-chip cookies*): _Toxic Rain42, Lina Schiffer _(2, woo-hoo!), _Tiryn, sesshomaruXme, _and_ inouehimechanZero-koNii-sama _(2, yay!). SO sorry about the lack of updating…classwork, work, car crash, plot bunny overload, writer's block…etc. But no more excuses! Thanks to my overly-persistent best friend (I was told I'd be killed in my sleep if I don't update - I believe it) and a challenge from _inouehimechanZero-koNii-sama _(hope I spelled your name right o " ), I once again have a reason to update (besides just for the heck of it) - if I post, she (I think?) posts, and I wanna see BA Ichi put the smack down on the butterflAizen! WOOT! Yes, I went there. Now, back to the reason you clicked this link (hopefully)…_

_Warning: Grimm-kun has potty-mouth issues! And I own nothing but a laptop and the frightening imagination which has wrought this plotline….._

_Onward! _

* * *

Dammit.

Why did _he _get stuck with the new chick? Grimmjow had been excused from the throne room, the brat trailing behind him, and that silver-haired _sneak_ grinning like an idiot who'd just hit the jackpot. Even _Aizen_ had looked amused! If the sixth believed in signs he would've gone running back to his room, tail tucked between his legs, waiting for the world to end.

But he didn't believe in signs. Or karma. And he kept reminding himself of these very facts as he trudged through the blindingly white halls. Stupid Aizen and his OCD. Just _what_ exactly was so wrong with color?

Even now, the kid was walking slowly behind him in a winding trail as she followed him back to his corner of Las Noches. It was making the hair on the back of his neck stand on end. Grimmjow felt like she was stalking him. _He _was supposed to be the predator here, not to mention his higher rank. This couldn't be good.

The little monster - _'Norayan,' _part of his memory insisted - snickered to herself as she apparently thought of something amusing.

Not good at all.

_Dammit._

-0-0-0-0-0-0-

Reaching his corner of Las Noches, Grimmjow glared at the brat that was his newest Fracción. Although he wasn't gonna let any of the other Espada mess with his property ('cause that's essentially what she was now) the chick was gonna have to fend for herself against the Fracción, especially his. They could get a little possessive at times, and there was no way he was gonna be the one to break up their fights - why discourage free entertainment?

Suddenly Grimmjow was pulled from his reverie by a quiet noise of contemplation. Twisting around slightly to see what was the matter _now_, the espada blanched to see _that girl _staring at the entrance to one of the _last_ places he wanted her attention called to.

"What's in there?" The ebony-haired arrancar pointed to a half-closed door to her right. The lights within had been extinguished, leaving what was beyond its shadowed entryway a mystery.

"My bedroom." Grimmjow stated, trying desperately to divert her attention before she found anything else to use against him. The girl stared into the darkness of the room now before her, sharp eyes not missing a single detail. Not even the futon in the corner, dark navy-blue blankets rumpled and mussed from use the night before.

"What d'ya know, I guess cats do sleep on the floor." A cerulean eye twitched, then the white-clad arrancar spun on his heel and continued stalking his way down the halls.

Damn it _all._

-0-0-0-0-0-0-

Grimmjow sauntered over to a white door, identical to all the others (save for the miniscule cracks and scuff marks adorning its edges), and kicked it open. The four white-clad individuals within immediately froze in place, heads swiveling to face the doorway.

A smirk wriggled its way onto the Sexta's face as he contemplated his fracciones reactions to what he was about to unload upon them.

"Oi. This is the new chick-"

"_Nora!" _Grimmjow barely glanced back at the indignant interrupting-pain-in-the-butt-he-was-now-saddled-with before finishing his original thought.

"Aizen's assigned her to us. Shawlong, teach her how _not _to get killed."


End file.
